Saturday, August 13, 2011

Good for 33

I'd like to just look good. Not for 33. Just look good. Also, I guess I'm just kinda dating whoever and not really sure what I want in this limbo...btw I've been in this limbo for a good six months now. 33 is not the time to be in limbo, biologically. Yet here I am...

Some other things happening:

I'm having, it seems, an early mid-life crisis. I'll be honest...I have no idea what I'm doing right now.

I rented out my house this last week, moved in with the mom and dad...in an RV (they are staying in Salt Lake for the summer in their RV). Then we had this huge fight and aren't talking (it was over my lifestyle choices - my parents wanted me to stay in SLC and...work for Costco for some reason but I'm still moving out of this state because what???) My parents live in constant fear of things I can't explain and it gets in the way of living...which, as an adult I don't put up with anymore. So now, since I've already rented out the house I own, I'm staying on the couch at a friend's house. ...and SF hasn't worked the way I was hoping (thought I was going to have a job but I don't now) and that means I'm stuck in Salt Lake basically unemployed, not talking to my parents and living on someone's couch. My life appears to suck. You know what though? I have to laugh (maybe so I don't cry?)

I mean it's always darkest before the dawn, right? Right? And I want to believe this but...what if there's no reason and things just happen? And here I am, trying to find meaning where there is none, with no direction and just living on a couch? I keep waiting for something to hit me.

I am also into wearing this headband I found, apparently.


1 comment:

George Marie said...

What you are going through is normal. When we go through a life-changing experience, we often need some time to adjust to new things.

When I broke up with my ex, I went to a lot of different places and did things with different people. For that month, I was doing things for me. Everything in my life had to be on hold, for just a little while.

I went to a Unitarian service lately. Change takes time, was the essence of the lesson. We need time to learn what said change will bring to our life. As far as I am concerned, one is entitled to take as much time as it needs.