Playing house

I have no idea how I got here. I spent so much time dating and being single and going through boyfriends and now here I am -- in my late 30's, married and with a baby on the way. Sometimes it doesn't feel real, like I'm playing house.

Last night my husband and I ordered nursery furniture from Pottery Barn. We made a list of things we still need to get from Amazon and discussed the credit cards with the best points to put it on for travel miles and cash back bonuses. We have 401k's and a savings account and talk about stock investments. You'd think, at almost 40, I would feel like a responsible adult and this would all feel normal right now. It does not.

Any moment I wonder when I'm going to wake up. There were times I thought maybe I'll never get married. I wondered if I'd be able to have children -- or get the chance to even try. This baby, so far, seems so healthy and so far I've felt healthy throughout the pregnancy. I'm blessed with good fr…

To Life in 2018

Happy New Year. It's been 2018 for 20 minutes in Utah (where hubs and I are staying with his parents over the holidays).

2017 was a year with a lot of ups and downs in general but mostly ups for the two of us. We are about to welcome our first baby into the world in two months (!!). We found out I was pregnant after an epic 4th of July trip to Canada this year where Nick made me hike several long, treacherous hikes, including one 10-miler over a glacier and an avalanche. I was so tired! Like, unusually more tired not just because we were doing a lot of outdoorsy things we definitely do not ever do. At one point, right before we hiked straight up the mountain where an avalanche had covered the trail, I got nauseated. I thought I was just nervous. Nope! I even turned to Nick and said I thought I might be pregnant. "You're not pregnant," he assured me. A pee stick when we got home proved him wrong. Well, now here I am a little over seven months into the journey.

I spen…

Get married

I mean, to the right person, of course.

I realize it's been awhile, so allow me to catch you up. That boy I mention in the post below? He's now my husband. Yep. WE GOT MARRIED! And I still love him 10 months in and consider him my favorite person in the world. I know this is not something everyone gets in life (read this post I wrote as a single person to see how far I've come here). But I'm very happy I did, in the end, find this wonderful man. He just gets me AND is many, many things I wanted in a person to go through life with. It took me a while but so glad we found each other.

So what have we been up to in married life? Moving in together (conscious coupling?) was a feat. Mostly it was me telling him to throw a lot of his "decorations" he "found on the street" out...and then convincing him it was a good thing to buy new stuff. In the end, it was a compromise but I like the way our apartment turned out. We've also been on numerous adventure…

Girl Meets Boy

I met a boy. This boy.
And I never knew I could feel this in love with anyone until I met him.

He's my favorite person.
And he's pretty cute, too.

Peace is not a lot to ask for

Words from Neil Young tonight.  This was an epic, bucket list fulfilling night for me. I witnessed something I never thought I would in my life - a rare gathering of CSNY. It was beautiful. Magical. It was for Young's annual Bridge Schoool Benefit Concert. I am so so so absolutely, blissfully happy at this moment as we sit silent, driving down the 101 and back to SF, contemplating the specialness of our evening. 

For the Crazy Ones

Why do I even let myself care? Because...and I'll tell you why...I truly, truly want to believe!

It's true. I do. I want the love story. The pathetic hearts and flowers together forever and we build a life together amazingness that has seemed to elude me. I want to believe that there is a man out there that I am attracted to that is fun and awesome and loves me back in a way that actually is love. Love. Like he doesn't lie to me or is not one way in front of some people and another way in front of other people. Love. Like he treats me the way every single nice girl on the planet deserves to be treated and he doesn't have some weird, sick, secret perversion. Love. Real love. Not where he thinks he owns me or tries to control me or tell me what to do all the time. Love, actual love. Love like best friends with life-long benefits kind of love and we are equal and we give to each other simply because we love each other kind of love. Love that means something and makes me …

Southby SARS and other awesome adventures...

So I'm back from Southby with what appears to be SARS

But I digress...
Southby was a boon and glad I went, despite getting sick.

In the meantime I leave you with the worst picture ever of me and was taken backstage...and unfortunately (for me) looks more like he is leading a blind child.

Here's a MUCH better picture of me and Jeremy Blum, the MIT student responsible for the creation of all things electronic at MakerBot (including the 3D printer).