Have you ever dressed up and felt beautiful, really beautiful, only to see the pictures later and wonder how you thought that because picture after picture actually shows you looking fat and full of, well, in my case, boobage?
These boobs have been the bane of my existence ever since I got them. I was that girl, the first girl in school to wear a bra. I got the dirty letters passed to me by the class delinquent. I got the thrilling job of trying to dress like a modest, religious teenager with incredible boobs. I've been told, on more than one occasion, that someone thought that I was fat before they met me in person because my pictures make me look fat because I have these big boobs. If you take a picture of me from the chest up it is apparently assumed I am a fat girl. Actually, I just have lots of boob.
Now, lest you think I'm crazy, always wish you had them and are now considering a breast implant operation, try fitting these DD's in modest, garment covering, formal wear. Formal wear, by the way, is usually specifically made to show off cleavage. In fact it is damn near impossible to find formal wear that does not show your assets in that region of the body.
So I went all over town looking for a gown for a special occasion that was modest, form-flattering, elegant, garment covering and somehow would cover these babies and fit me well. Thought I had done a pretty good job in the end. Thought I looked great, too.
So I get home and look at the pictures. I look fat and booby!
I would say it's time for a diet but to be honest I've done that. I've even run a half marathon and remained the same weight. So sometimes I think I should just accept my curves (and mountains) and accept that I am possibly not ever going to be as slim as some girls. In my wildest thoughts I imagine I'm more like a Marilyn and channel Joan Holloway (Mad Men). I think I should accept that and welcome it and love it.
But then I see those pictures. The ones I thought I looked so great in. And there they are, staring right at me. Boobs!