I am, if you didn't know, the Beehive advisor in my ward. That means I'm in charge of the 12 and 13 year old girls. And you know what? They love me! And I love that they love me. I love that the YW's in my ward in general seem to love me. And I really feel like they need me right now. The other leaders don't seem to relate so well. It's odd. I'm one of the oldest leaders, but I look and feel younger than all the other women there.
The girls clamor to be around me and to be in my car when we are going somewhere for activities. Two of my beehives fought over who got to sit next to me today. One little girl always makes me stuff. She made me a prayer rock. So adorable.
One 16 year old girl in our YW's who never comes sat next to me in sacrament today and then asked me if we could be friends and hang out sometime. I'm literally half her age. Literally. I thought that was just the sweetest thing that she thought I was cool enough to ask to be my friend. I don't think I would have ever ever thought to be friends with my leaders when I actually was a in YW's.
I'm so totally flattered...but the thing is, I feel bad for the other leaders. That has to hurt.The girls very clearly favor me. They do not clamor to be with them like they do with me. But if they would just engage with them, listen to them and make them feel important, they'd probably love them, too. But they don't. And I'm not sure they know how to..or possibly even care to.
Last week one of the leaders gave a lesson and then opened it up for testimonies. She explained what a testimony is and is not. Some girls got up, disregarded all that she had said about how to give a testimony (cuz they are teenagers) and then, following them, there was a long pause. One of the shyest girls I have ever met then said so very quietly you almost could not hear her, "if no one gets up can we just get out early?". It was innocent and funny, but obviously wasn't going to happen. The teacher, instead of explaining that we were waiting for other girls to feel prompted and giving them a chance, snapped at her. She told her it was rude to ask and that if she wasn't going to get up herself she could just sit in silence and ponder what she'd done. I was shocked and worried that poor, sweet girl was going to cry and then never come back again. I asked the leader why she'd done that after class and she and one of the other leaders explained to me that you have to act that way because you have to "nip it in the bud from the beginning". I wasn't sure what she was nipping, but was very glad to see that girl come back again the next week.
I realize not everyone knows what they are doing and that we all have different talents and abilities and that maybe the other leaders have stress of kids and home life and jobs and also it's not good for me to (as my roommate puts it) murmur. But the girls love me cuz I don't do that. I'm fun with them and talk to them about life and what's going on in it. There is a part of me that wonders if they like me because maybe I'm just as immature, haha, but they really like me the most. And I really like them and this calling so far.