Single Utah soccer moms can keep their mechanical bull all for themselves
I am, as I've said before, the ward anomaly. A young, professional, sane, cute girl who is, oddly, single. So my new family ward has noticed. I'm now getting the "he's single, your single, let's set you up".
A couple in my ward came over yesterday to invite me to play games with them tonight. They want to set me up with their single friend. I was flattered but wary. This has happened before. As I started asking about him it came out he was 7 years younger (not that big a deal), worked as a hotel delivery boy and had no intentions of going to school or doing something different. Then the husband of the couple let it slip, "I'm not gonna lie...he's, um, big." Big? "He's, you know, not very athletic and ya, he's really a bigger guy." Like fat? "Ya, he doesn't like to exercise."
Okay...add that all together and he sounds like a winner.
I don't think I'm being harsh here. Just because two people are single doesn't mean they should date.
An older, divorced lady in my ward also pointed out to me that a member of our stake presidency was single. She thought I should introduce myself. He's 60.
Also, for some reason I decided to torture myself last night by going to an LDS dance. I haven't been to one of those in oh forever. I went with my girlfriend Tyler (yes, a girl with a boy name) and gay Ryan. He's totally out, but was a really good sport to go. The dance was for people 25+ so I thought...maybe.
So picture this scene: fat soccer moms with short hair riding a mechanical bull in the middle of the room. Creative layering with absolutely no sense for fashion. Bald, short men lookin pa nub. The average age? 40. A 44 year old mail man tried to get my number. Bad DJ + hilarious people watching = loads of entertainment and a promise to myself to never go again.
I realized, as I reflected on my weird family ward predicament and surveyed the scene last night, that I am so getting out of Utah.
A couple in my ward came over yesterday to invite me to play games with them tonight. They want to set me up with their single friend. I was flattered but wary. This has happened before. As I started asking about him it came out he was 7 years younger (not that big a deal), worked as a hotel delivery boy and had no intentions of going to school or doing something different. Then the husband of the couple let it slip, "I'm not gonna lie...he's, um, big." Big? "He's, you know, not very athletic and ya, he's really a bigger guy." Like fat? "Ya, he doesn't like to exercise."
Okay...add that all together and he sounds like a winner.
I don't think I'm being harsh here. Just because two people are single doesn't mean they should date.
An older, divorced lady in my ward also pointed out to me that a member of our stake presidency was single. She thought I should introduce myself. He's 60.
Also, for some reason I decided to torture myself last night by going to an LDS dance. I haven't been to one of those in oh forever. I went with my girlfriend Tyler (yes, a girl with a boy name) and gay Ryan. He's totally out, but was a really good sport to go. The dance was for people 25+ so I thought...maybe.
So picture this scene: fat soccer moms with short hair riding a mechanical bull in the middle of the room. Creative layering with absolutely no sense for fashion. Bald, short men lookin pa nub. The average age? 40. A 44 year old mail man tried to get my number. Bad DJ + hilarious people watching = loads of entertainment and a promise to myself to never go again.
I realized, as I reflected on my weird family ward predicament and surveyed the scene last night, that I am so getting out of Utah.
Comments
I think that we often approach LDS single events with our "it is what it is" attitudes in full force. Two people do not have to date just because they are single. That being said, an incompatibility factor does not entitle us to put another down. Our attitudes towards one another need to be representative of the fact that we are all children of the same Heavenly Father. Think of what the dating scene would be like if we were all of one heart and one mind in how we responded to one another.
Yes, imagine a world of peace and love where all singles were of one heart. Are you serious?? A lovely sentiment to be sure, but completely, and in every way absurd, because it will never happen. Why? Because the world just doesn't work that way.
SJ- I know how you feel. The "you're single, he's single" mentality is the hardest to overcome. I pretend to take it as a compliment. As in people think you are so nice and great, that you would be willing to take on a charity case.
But it would be nice, just once, if someone said, "I have this fantastic guy for you. In every way your equal. He's interesting, accomplished, and attractive."
I was not saying that being of "one heart and one mind" requires us to date everyone who asks. My point was that being of "one heart and one mind" entitles us to treat one another with respect. Just because someone is different, we do not need to verbally assail them.
Even if the thoughts echoed in this blog were not explicitly communicated, they were still thought. Let me ask this: Are thoughts like these something that you would want to share with your bishop at a Temple Recommend interview? Our quest to become more Christ-like COMPELS us to treat one another with a certain amount of mutual respect.
The point I am trying to make was that we need to learn to love others as Jesus did (and does) - which means that we need to get off our self-righteous pedestals, be more tolerant of the weaknesses and differences in others, and quit doing the "I'm better than you" thing. The whole motivation for that comes from a standpoint of love - or as more mainstream Christians might put it, agape (or filial love).
If our ultimate destiny as Latter Day Saints is to build Zion wherever we stand, we need to realize that just because someone isn't perfect, we aren't better than them. Becoming of one heart, which is at the core of becoming a Zion society, requires that we get rid of "Us vs. Them" and embrace the "Thems" even if we don't like some things about who they are or what they choose to do. You have to agree to meet somewhere in the middle on this, and this belief flies completely in the face of conventional wisdom. But the truth is that the "I'm better" isn't Zion and is very far afield of what Jesus taught and lived.
Here's another quote: "Be the change you want to be in the world." If you want Mr. Excellent to come along, you have to live that.
My experience dating is that if someone is really having a bad time, it comes across in your attitude. Even if you don't express the emotions in this post to the guy on your date, it comes across in your attitude. If you go to a singles event with the "it is what it is attitude" in full force, you're not going to find Mr. Right because he's probably already moved on.
Does this all make sense?