Lately I seem to be tested over my patience. I am admittedly not a patient person and waiting is really REALLY hard for me to do. But life always seems to find ways to giveyou opportunities to confront the things that are hard for you. Like lately. I've had to patiently wait for my roommates/tenants to pay me rent...late...again!
I have also had my parents in town. Who see many things the opposite of me. They are good people, great people, but some things we just don't see eye-to-eye on. I'm fine with not going there. You can't reason with the irrational anyway. But they insist. They must endlessly discuss how the whole world is going to hell because Obama is president and other such things that really don't matter in our relationship and I don't agree with. They talk about it over and over (brainwashing method?) who knows. I love them, but talk like that tries my patience. Get over it all ready. I don't agree. We don't need to try to convert me...especially when you are talking crazy...and sending crazy emails....on a daily basis. "Muslims are the anti-Christ" "Aliens are behind 911" "Look at these cute puppies with American flags, if you don't it means you hate America". Spam. Crazy. I don't have the time for this.
My dad is also building me a shed in my backyard. So far the foundation has been built. It's been a week. It's supposed to take 2.5 hours. He comes over every other day, moves some things around (and then I feel guilty that he is old and trying to do this and somehow he ends up recruiting my help and time for this), then after moving things around for no good reason he says it might rain, covers everything over again and says he will get to it later. It's a trial of my patience. We actually fought about the time it is taking just yesterday. I said I could get friends or neighbors to help me, that I could just do it. It apparently hurt his feelings because he is trying to help me (except that it is taking my time up and it's going nowhere and I have no idea why he insists on puttering around my backyard instead of actually building the damn thing)...and then I get to feel like the ungrateful daughter because he is afterall building me a shed. It's frustrating to just wait it out, let my backyard be a mess and have patience.
More patience. Most of my clients this month have also asked if they could pay me later instead of now. I have bills now. I balance between just taking the work and hoping and losing patience and telling them to pay up now. Test of patience.
I get impatient. I get impatient at slow traffic and slow cars that somehow seem to move right in front of me and then slow down and I have to downshift gears or hit the brakes. I get impatient at non-coordinating traffic lights, slow checkout lines, slow cashiers, people who walk slowly in front of me and I can't get by, people who can't seem to find their credit card when they go to pay or try to pay by counting out every nickel and dime in the deep depths of their purse, slow payments, slow responses, slow people, slow, slow, slow. Patience.
It's a test. I want to believe that it's just a test. Why else does stuff like this always seem to come at once? But even if this is all a test to teach me patience and to slow down and just learn to wait and widdle my time away... the thing is, I don't know that I am really learning to be more patient, just annoyed that things, people and circumstances can't see where I am trying to go and what I want and need to do and speed up a little. But I'm supposed to be learning patience.