I read this in an Ezine article:
"Working too hard makes you unattractive to good men and makes you oh, so attractive to the bad ones."
I'm embarrassed to admit it but I literally typed in "how to find your soul mate" and this came up. It's so true! The jerks love a girl who bends over backwards for them. Makes their life so easy and they know they can just insult all your efforts and you'll come back for more. Run away from these guys. I know, for some sad reason this is easier said than done. It was for me for a certain horrible someone. But distance, time and good friends who can help you rebuild your self-esteem help.
Now...why was I spending time typing this in? I'm not exactly desperate right now. All the articles I read seemed to be aimed at women who got rejected a lot. But finding guys who like me is not the problem...It's just I can't seem to find a guy who I like back. And I don't think I'm being too snobby about what I would prefer.
My other girlfriends seem to be in the same boat. These are cute, educated gals that get asked out plenty...by all the wrong guys. These are men that don't have a job, heavily in debt, significantly less attractive than the other person, have a drinking problem, an attitude problem, an anger management problem, already have a girlfriend, treat women poorly, hate their moms, can't seem to get their crap together (like they are still working on their undergrad and they're 29), play mind games, play D&D...whatever, they are not a single one a good match. So I thought a little helpful advice from the internet might help. But it didn't.
All I can ascertain is that it is better to be single than tied down to a jerk in some miserable relationship...but significantly better to be in a great relationship with a great guy than to be single. Ummm, yep, got that one, thanks.
I'd like to say I'd take some nerdy nice guy over a jerk...but it would be a lie. I've been with a jerk and gone back and back and back an insane amount of times. I guess trying to fix him or trying to figure out why he couldn't just be nice to me...until I couldn't do it anymore. I'm hoping for a nice guy to show up instead. I'm hoping to resist "wounded bird syndrome" where you're drawn to a guy cuz he's totally insane and you hope he just needs someone to care...which actually only escalates his broken crazy and now you are enabling him and he's telling you that you are worthless...But maybe that's the secret to finding your "soul mate" or whatever you wanna call the person that fits you best. You believe there is this good guy out there and you don't have to accept Mr. Broken, or Mr. "inauthentic cheeseball with clammy hands" or Mr. "I don't have a job or a car and will you drive me?" You don't go out with or even think about all the guys you know are wrong, wrong, wrong. Instead you expect Mr. Right. Right?
Really, I don't know. I just wish there weren't so many guys I didn't like and that there were more of an abundance of hot guys that had their life together and respected the women in their lives.