There's a new book out that teaches women how to cheat-proof their man. I'm not sure how I feel about it. But, one thing it does mention is that a man rarely cheats because the other woman is more attractive than his wife or significant other. It has more to do with the way he feels when he is with her, and that he doesn't feel that way anymore with his spouse. It says men need praise, that cheating men often say their wife stopped appreciating them and that the other woman made them feel like they were amazing. Hmmm. Okay, so I'm all for praising a job well done and making my guy feel good about himself, but what if the roles are reversed. What about a highly critical guy? What can women say to get the guy to realize he is ruining the relationship with all the criticism? I once dated this guy who constantly found things I was doing wrong. He said he was helping, but really it seemed he was going out of his way to criticize. I asked if he couldn't find positive things about me too and he actually said that wasn't necessary to do because that wouldn't help me. ??? It didn't make me cheat, it just made me not want to marry him. I stayed in the relationship because I loved him, but we broke up because of the constant criticism. I wasn't validated by him and I started realizing other guys would validate me and make me feel good about myself.
I guess I can see a guy cheating because of this. They feel committed to their wife, this person they feel may be their soul mate, their companion, but they also make them feel bad about themselves and instead of leaving, which doesn't seem to be an option in their minds at this point, they start to look for validation elsewhere.
However, what if the guy we are with just doesn't do a lot of good things for us? What if he really messes up a lot? Like he cooks a meal but burns everything? Do we praise him for the effort even though he didn't follow the instructions and ruined our pan? How does this work, exactly and why would they cheat because we didn't praise their little efforts at a bumbling mess or two (or several, over and over again)? Thoughts?