Friday, December 07, 2007

The Break-up


I went to the gym last night (finally and at long last). They actually have a movie theater at the one I go to. You can work out while you watch a flick. They were playing "The Break Up" last night and I almost went in...but Ugly Betty was on.

So it's official. After over a year, B and me are no more. This movie, I've seen it before, is a lot like my dating life. Girl and guy get close, serious, guy settles in, takes girl for granted, starts acting childish and playing video games all day. Girl gets mad, guy doesn't know why, thinks girl is just irrational or hormonal. Girl tries to get guy to pay attention to her again. Guy thinks everything is fine. Girl thinks guy got lazy, cheap and hard to deal with. Girl wants to see other people, guy acts crazy. Girl and guy break up.

All I can say is it started with a motorcycle ride and ended with a bunch of almost ruined couches. He helped me buy them, we talked about how things weren't working, I wanted to see other people (but really just wanted him to act better), he got mad and told me he didn't care if I saw other people. I went on date, was miserable on date, missed him, he was still mad and threatened to put couches in snow. I cried, he delivered couches, neither of us are talking to each other.

But this is obviously not the only ridiculous, totally not working part of the relationship. All I can say is that even after everything I've tried to be reasonable about, tried to work with, and all the childishness I've put up with this past year, and even though nobody thinks he was a good bf, I still love him. I'm still in love with him. I'm just tired.

We've broken up before. It's been a hard relationship. The hardest I've ever been in. But this time there's something about it that just says we're done. I love him, but I can't go back. It's like cutting off my right arm and it is losing a best friend. But, we're done.

6 comments:

esperanza said...

*sympathy* I hope everything is okay. p.s. good for you.

abby said...

In some ways, a break up can help you feel freedom. It's always hard but there is some empowerment in knowing you'll find someone better for you who can fulfill your needs. Use the time you have now as chance to improve yourself and work through whatever personal issues got in the way of your other relationships. You'll then find yourself in a better position in your next relationship. It's hard to let go and break the cycle but you'll be happy you did when you meet the right person.

Steve said...

Relationships aren't supposed to be super easy, which allows us guys to be lazy, but they also aren't supposed to be so hard they are more tiring than fun. Often times the hardest ones to walk away from are the ones you should! Good luck.

SJ said...

Oh, Steve, don't I know it. Thanks guys.

mj said...

oh, sj. there is such a fine line between when a relationship is the "worth it" kind of hard and when it is the "not worth it" kind of hard. it takes courage both to stick with it when you should and to leave it when you should. at one point during my honeymoon when my dear sweet husband was playing me a love song i just started crying because of how hard it had been to *STAY* over the last year and what a super-awesome reward i had gotten. i am sure you will also get a super-awesome reward for making the right decision.

seth said...

sorry to hear things ended on such a sour note, but you are right to move on.