Friday, December 07, 2007
I went to the gym last night (finally and at long last). They actually have a movie theater at the one I go to. You can work out while you watch a flick. They were playing "The Break Up" last night and I almost went in...but Ugly Betty was on.
So it's official. After over a year, B and me are no more. This movie, I've seen it before, is a lot like my dating life. Girl and guy get close, serious, guy settles in, takes girl for granted, starts acting childish and playing video games all day. Girl gets mad, guy doesn't know why, thinks girl is just irrational or hormonal. Girl tries to get guy to pay attention to her again. Guy thinks everything is fine. Girl thinks guy got lazy, cheap and hard to deal with. Girl wants to see other people, guy acts crazy. Girl and guy break up.
All I can say is it started with a motorcycle ride and ended with a bunch of almost ruined couches. He helped me buy them, we talked about how things weren't working, I wanted to see other people (but really just wanted him to act better), he got mad and told me he didn't care if I saw other people. I went on date, was miserable on date, missed him, he was still mad and threatened to put couches in snow. I cried, he delivered couches, neither of us are talking to each other.
But this is obviously not the only ridiculous, totally not working part of the relationship. All I can say is that even after everything I've tried to be reasonable about, tried to work with, and all the childishness I've put up with this past year, and even though nobody thinks he was a good bf, I still love him. I'm still in love with him. I'm just tired.
We've broken up before. It's been a hard relationship. The hardest I've ever been in. But this time there's something about it that just says we're done. I love him, but I can't go back. It's like cutting off my right arm and it is losing a best friend. But, we're done.