Friday, April 14, 2006
Last night I was jogging on the Provo River Trail. It's the first time I was ever on it (that thing goes forever and is actually a really great place to run). At the end of my run I saw a guy coming toward me that looked like my ex-boyfriend from three years ago. We had one of those horrid break-up and get back together three times before the real break up relationships. He's married now. I wasn't even really invited to the wedding - unless you count an email he sent me the week before saying I could come if I wanted and that he hoped I wasn't tragically sad he was getting married (I was way over him at this point, it'd been a year and I was living on the other side of the country). And there I was on the trail, red faced, hair in disarray, sweaty, and in a tight running outfit I maybe should not have worn. Well, he came closer and then totally ignored me. I thought "the nerve" so I called out his name. He just kept walking. Could it be he doesn't recognize me? Is it maybe not him? I knew he didn't have a twin. No, it was him. But what was he doing in Provo, on my running trail, and ignoring me? I called his name again, but he just kept on walking. I felt so, just, ugh! And I realized how unresolved things for me and him really were. He couldn't even say "hi". I know it's crazy, but I went back to my car and drove around the block to see if I could see him walking again, just so he would see me driving by and ignoring him. But he was gone. The funny thing about this is that I was walking around BYU campus last fall and could have sworn I "felt" him. I felt like he was watching me and I couldn't shake it. Last I heard he was in Salt Lake and getting ready to go to Dental school in Pennsylvania. As far as I knew he was nowhere near Provo. But I definitely felt him. I was actually afraid to look around in case I saw him (this may explain why he ignored me yesterday). But it's just so weird to even think about him. I don't even like him anymore and am not even sure why I ever did. But there he was. And there I was. And he's married.