The Love Dance

Pattern: dorky guy moves in to neighborhood/ ward/ work situation. They really seem into me, get all awkward, maybe even get up the nerve to ask me out. I think they are dorky, use my usual security net and play them off like a friend. Then every other girl in the ward decides they like said boy and they can actually see he's got this great personality. Suddenly I realize he really is a great guy, and realize he really is kinda cute, too. But by this time their head has swollen beyond repair by all the other attention they are getting. It's too late. So why do I only like them after everyone else does? It's this pattern that's happened over and over again through out my life. and it's a major problem and I'm just now noticing it.

Comments

Scully said…
Economics would label it a supply/demand problem. Something with a limited supply becomes more valuable as more people demand it. Also, it could just be that the interests of others makes you take a closer look and find the diamond in the rough. So maybe you could break the cycle by taking a closer look before everyone else. Or maybe everyone is deluding themselves and he really is that nerdy, he is just new and that newness distracts everyone from the inherent nerdiness.
Unknown said…
It's like this kid I knew in junior high. I told him I'd be his friend if he gave me a piece of paper and he was just smitten with me from that point on. Even asked me to go steady. I took a good look at him, his flaming red hair, big freckles, chubby body, shortness, humungous cannabis leaf on his tie-dye t-shirt and said "nope". We remained friends till after highschool when we lost touch. A couple years later I ran into him. He'd grown a lot taller, the sun (from his many adventures hiking in South America) had kissed his hair blonde, he was tan (no more freckles), and great muscular body. He was basically really hot. I was the one who went up to him when I saw him on campus, being extra friendly, hoping he would still somehow have the hots for me. But he didn't. And it sucked. If only I'd known how fine he was going to be. And he had this great personality as well from all those year being short and chubby...We lost touch again, actually he hardly gave me the time of day after we ran into each other again. Darn me! hmmm I wonder where that guy is now?
Anonymous said…
ah classmates dot com might help you out, but chances are he's married with his 1.5 kids by now.
Unknown said…
I have observed this....LOL. Just try I guess to think they are good in the first place and give them a chance?! Use the leverage of the first-pick senario....?
Unknown said…
Yes, you may have seen me do this with a certain guy lately, ack!
Unknown said…
I would also like to note that nothing is wrong with flaming red hair on girls. Red headed girls tend to be pretty, but for some reason a lot of red headed guys just aren't.
mj said…
i say give the dorks a chance. if they really are total dorks at least you killed some time. on the other hand you could just go about minding your own business until one day a dude you were interested in 2 1/2 yrs earlier makes a move and you realize he is actually a bit of a dork in hipster's clothing anyway, but it's ok because you actually like it.

the moral: dorks can be cute, cute can be dorks. might as well see what they have to offer.
Anonymous said…
I think yeah, go out with them a few times until you can prove they're utterly ridiculously boring. Dorky doesn't necessarily mean uninteresting.

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