Something a Little More Uplifting

From McSweeneys:

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts

My parents have been married for 50 years, but I recently found out that they are part of an army of genetically altered polar bears planning on taking over the Earth. Since I found out, I have had trouble trusting anyone, especially if they are a genetically altered polar bear. Will I ever heal?

Thanks,
Distrusting in Detroit


Dear Distrusting,

Well, I guess you are just judge and jury for the world. These are your parents, and if they want to take over the Earth with their mind-boggling, futuristic bear-powers, then I suggest you respect their wishes. P.S. You're a jerk.

Regards,
Miss Lonelyhearts

Comments

Joy said…
love, love, love, for ambitious polar bears.
1:58 PM
Unknown said…
May they rule the world, AMEN!
5:51 PM
Joy said…
say it again sistah!
8:02 AM
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