Trouble's Painful Dating Experience

I cannot claim ownership of the the entry below. It is from a site kinda like Friendster, but known as LDSLinkup. From a girl who calls herself Trouble. It made me laugh. A lot.

Teenage boy trapped in a young twenties girl body
"I wish I could play "girl next door" but even when I wear a sweater twin set with no makeup, people will approach me to tell me I should be in horror moves. THANKS A LOT! Strangers approach me, and they're like "You scare me. Have you ever thought about being in movies? You know, the ones that are scary?"

"Maybe this appearance scares away the Peter Priesthoods that I want. I'm molly. Okay. Kind of. I keep the commandments, but am wild in every other way.

"Unfortunately, I like whiny, somewhat lazy intellectuals. Look at every single guy I've dated. Every single guy I've dated. Every single guy I'm stalking. For some reason, I can't get enough rejection from whiny idiots. Wait, "idiots" is kind of a harsh word. I don't mean idiots. I just mean, how can I consistently meet so many people who can't decide that they don't like me, so they keep me around squirming. Why when they shut the door, do I keep trying to pry my way back in.

"Why can't I just like guys with big muscles? Why can't I just be in it for the money? If I date another lead singer that lives with his mom, I'm going to shoot myself. If I fall in love with another gay guy, it's over. I'm callin' it quits.

"You probably don't want to date me.

"Anything horrible you do will just be added to my standup."


Anonymous said…
Dude, that girl's totally funny.
Anonymous said…
I happen to know Trouble, and I think she's great. That's just awesome what she wrote. I just hope I don't fall under any of her descriptions there.

-A boy.
SJ said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Trouble said…
Now I'm dying to know who "a boy" is.
SJ said…
I have a suspicion it may be Thunderfist. He's no mere boy, though.

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