The Secret Job

When a visitor, or employee without a security clearance comes for a meeting, but in the middle of that meeting has to go to the bathroom, I have to walk them to the bathroom, I also have to wait for them while they go, then I walk them back. This is all part of working in a very secure office. The company invests $100,000 for each employee to gain a security clearance. This is my third day on the job. I am a temp. I do not have a security clearance because I am a temp. 911 ruined common sense.

This is my day job, just so you know.

I am one of a dozen young ladies, all college graduates, who hit the DC job scene, stars in our eyes, shortly after college. We are a force of highly talented, educated, and beautiful people. All assistants to the man. We could be doing something much more amazing with our lives, if we knew the right people, or graduated in a better economy; where those with hard-earned educations were not relegated to answering the phone.

I am covering for another assistant on maternity leave. I took the job thinking it would buy me some time to figure out what to do with my life. It is an odd choice for me, however. This company builds defense weapons for the government. I see myself as somewhat of a pacifist. Of course, I change my labels frequently. Sometimes I say I'm a vegetarian. Later that afternoon I will want a bologne sandwich. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Actually, I used to be a vegan. For three years I was a strict vegan. I was pretty hard-core about it. I ate those Chick'n fingers, the soy cheese, wheat meat. I got used to it, even liked it. I still like to indulge myself in soy ice cream or a veggie burger once in a while. But I didn't do it originally for the animals. I did it for health. It eventually turned into animal rights. I used to call eggs "aborted chicken fetuses". Don't laugh!

I am definitely not telling anyone around this office about my former dietary habits. Most of them are military men, and I'm pretty sure most of them are meat-loving, day planner planning, Republicans with no room for hippie ideals.

So why am I playing office bathroom monitor? Well, it frees up my time to moonlight as a writer. This was my original plan.

Being fresh out of college, and being presumptuous enough to try competing against those with decades of experience in a big, politically connected city, well, I fell flat on my face. I actually started out in DC with a stellar internship at NPR. Sadly, that dropped me and the rest of the wannabe radio hosts as soon as our time was over. Then I tried to survive on Freelancing my way up. That wasn't exactly paying the bills.

So here I am, scheduling and walking important people to the bathroom by day, and hoping to get a few writing gigs on my time off. This blog is meant to chronicle my adventures both at my day job, and as a wannabe legit journalist. You can check out some of my earlier work at the Daily Utah Chronicle (college paper), The Northern Virginia Journal (where I successfully wrote all of one article), Politixgroup.com (where I wrote one very bad opinion piece), and NPR (where I successfully produced two actual stories that actually aired). Someday I may be famous. Someday I may realize I am writing to myself and that nobody actually reads my blog or anything else I've done. But someday, whoever you are, you will be able to say you knew me when.