Tuesday, December 27, 2011

When It Gets Real

The bf and I just got back from something a bit scary. We went to Arizona over Christmas and introduced each other to our parents (gulp).

To understand this you have to understand the dynamics of my family and his family and the way we were both raised. Me: a pack of very serious, buttoned up Mormon engineers. Him: a hippy Jewish mother. And in his words, "How did you come from that family?" I love them because we are family and because they are honest and try to be good and gave me a stable environment and love me the best they can. But it's true that we are pretty much nothing alike. For like anything. Pretty much. They are very serious people.

So I introduce the boy and hope he doesn't think they are the real me. I love them but I say to him that I don't know how I came to be the me I am out of it either. Please can we get back to making me laugh so hard I cry?

So I have this new respect for J. Poor guy wasn't sure what to do sometimes or what was appropriate (no don't bring wine to dinner and Mormons don't drink coffee, yes you are allowed to hold my hand in front of the mom and dad, sorry my brother was probing you about your intentions, etc.). Possibly the most nerve racking part was right when we got to church (the nice Jewish boy agreed to go to the Mormon church for Christmas services with me my mom and dad) and my dad pulled him aside to explain the sacrament is only for members living the right way. I was mortified. I told him to take it anyway cuz that is just what people do and it's no big deal. So he did and I did and neither one of us burned in hell.

So now that he's met the family I find myself feeling much closer to him in a way I didn't expect. Most people who've met my parents are already up with the Mormon culture and kinda get it. J was just thrown in to an alien situation and weathered it well without knowing much beforehand (and so far has not headed for the the hills). But this presents a whole new issue for me. I find myself getting more attached...to J...which is very scary. I didn't realize I would like him when I first met him. I was just having fun and dating a lot of different people (and even now I must admit I have to remind myself I have a boyfriend and have had one for almost two months now). But he's met the family. I met his mom. She gave me some nice jewelry and was very sweet and I spent this time with him and I could see myself really liking him. And it scares me. A lot. He didn't like the last entry I made. I didn't discuss all that stuff with him before I wrote it so it was an awkward discussion the next morning. So I won't say much more here. Just that I'm starting to rely on him more and wanting to be with him more and feeling more attached...what am I doing in a relationship? But he's pretty amazing and makes me laugh a lot and really does seem to look out for my best interests in a way that is rare. I don't know how I got so lucky or why I'm still so scared. The difference is that I'm less scared of losing my identity and more scared I'll like him too much now.

1 comment:

abby said...
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