Saturday, July 09, 2011

Admission: I have a very wild imagination.

I realized this early on I'm kinda weird cuz other kids/adults/any other human being I knew at the time did not think the same way I did. I made up whole stories and universes in my head. I even had this running story that I was the only human on Earth and everyone else I knew was a robot. Or an alien. And they were pretending to be human. To study me, maybe. I wasn't sure and the ideas kept changing.

Here's the thing... I was a child with a wild imagination in white, all Mormon, conservative, suburban Utah. What else was I going to come up with?

I also had this whole story about the fairy kingdom...that happened to exist just over the highway and across the golf course. Obviously. Peter Pan lived there in a tree house with the Indian Maidens, who were his maids. And I was a fairy princess with fairy attendants of my own. Of course. And my hair was very long and beautiful. And together we fought the dasterdly forces of dark that were constantly trying to destroy our kingdom. I made up entire scenarios about this. Every night before I went to bed I'd think up some new adventure in my head as I slowly drifted to sleep.

Also, and I swear this is true, I dreamed in cartoon. I didn't start really dreaming in real...life? until I was maybe 12. All my dreams were in cartoon...at least what I remember.

To entertain myself I made up these magic words that would make me invisible or not invisible any more. If my mom was mad or I could sense she was not in a good mood I'd say the magic word in my head and convince myself she wouldn't be able to see me. Same thing with my dad...or my brothers...or whoever. I'd say "blik" to go invisible and "bloc" to uninvisibalize. I have never told this to anyone.

One more thing. When I was in first grade I had a boyfriend. He was a nerd. We played like we were Transformers on the jungle gym during recess. I was, of course, the pink one. Did that one even have a name? Everyone always just said "the pink one" cuz that was the token girl robot. Anyway, we played Transformers. And then I made the mistake of kissing him on the cheek in the hall and Paul Sibbits caught us and told EVERYONE! Next thing I knew the whole class was chanting "Two little lovers, sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G." At that age, I was mortified. I broke up with the poor kid. He was really mad at me. Also, it left him open to bullies. He no longer had me next to him and he was nerdy. He was bullied the rest of the time I knew him till we moved away in 7th grade.

After we had our falling out I made friends with a girl who lived down the street. I forget her name. Her mom was having a baby so they moved shortly after that to a bigger house. That's all I know. In her I found a kindred friend with just as much of a love for pretend. Funny thing is we always made up that we died and went to heaven or hell and if hell we had to rescue each other from the fiery darts by praying really, really hard. Did I mention I was raised religious? She was not. I have no idea why we did that.

I also had two imaginary boyfriends - Peter Pan and the Jungle Boy. The Jungle Boy I would always imagine in a cheetah loin cloth running beside me as I rode the bus to school every day. He would hide in the bushes till recess but I could never let him come out to play because the other kids might see him.

I still have this pretty wild imagination but it was more like a secret world in my head when I was a kid. That I didn't think to tell anyone about. I don't know if I'm a weirdo or if there are other people who did the same thing. I was the only kid I knew who thought of stuff like this where I grew up. I asked around, trust you me. The others may really have been robots. Or something...I really hope I'm not crazy.

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